Good Morning Pausers,

I’m sitting outside on this beautiful, warm Saturday Morning reflecting on something I read last night. I am part of this organization called Women for Sobriety, WFS. It’s an incredible group of supportive, capable, competent and brave women, who share their struggles and their triumphs on this alcohol free journey. One woman posted last night about the loss we feel during sobriety and the ever present role alcohol plays in our lives. I, for one, am surrounded by daily drinkers which makes it incredibly difficult to escape the psychological burdens of its grip. Lately, one such burden, is the awareness that I could escape from all my anxieties, thoughts, and discomforts with a few glasses of wine. The thought sounds so appealing! Yet, I also know alcohol is not an option for me. In short, she stated that we can have two opposing thoughts, simultaneously. Until I read her post, I felt as if I was failing at sobriety because I’d been having these feelings. And then last night, it clicked. It’s okay to reflect and mourn my past life. Its okay to crave the idea of numbing out. Its okay to wish I could be a normal drinker. All these thoughts are valid and okay. At the same time, I remind myself why I quit. I remember its hold over my daily life. I remember the 3 am feeling of utter shit. It has occurred to me that acceptance and understanding are part of the healing process and the way to moving forward on this journey.

In the meantime, I will continue to do the work to strengthen my sobriety muscles physically and mentally. I will end this post by saying let’s pause, breathe and embrace the journey.