I’m back after an extremely busy week!

Continued from last week….

My doctor knew and I knew I was only fooling myself. At the end of the day, my doctor sees hundreds of patients and although he may care at the moment, he isn’t reflecting on “My” situation all day. So why do we lie, when asked? Who are we protecting….our addiction, our denial of our addiction, our self worth, our bravado? I guess it really doesn’t matter because I decided, at that very moment, that if I want to live to see my life unfold, I had to be vulnerable.

He proceeded to explain that the only way to assess each ailment is to cut out the one common denominator, alcohol. I nodded as my eyes welled with tears. I asked if I could moderate and he, point blank, said NO. I walked out of that building, sobbing. As I write this today, I am astonished at the sheer role that alcohol had in my life. The thought of giving it up seemed inconceivable. More importantly, how was I going to get through becoming an empty nester, hormonal fluctuations and moods, without my companion. At that very moment, my life looked bleek. Nonetheless, I knew, deep in my soul, what I had to do.