I’d like to discuss my partner, my unwavering companion, alcohol. He was the only one I could count on in times of happiness, sadness, celebration, exasperation, and boredom. You see, during midlife we are hyper aware of oneself. Now couple with a pending divorce, changes in family dynamic, balancing work and home life, as a single parent, and dealing with terrible anxiety. He was the only part of my life that remained present and unchanged and so I leaned on him….heavily. And what seemed to be a harmless relationship quickly turned into a toxic one. On more than one occasion I began to google, “Am I…..” Yet I never finished the sentence or that search. Just the thought, of the answer staring back at me on my screen, sent me into a crippling panic. Looking back now, I am perplexed as to how I managed to get through it all with half glass empty brain!

So about 4 years ago, in midst of my addiction, I began to wonder if others experienced being dragged in a riptide, as I was. Was midlife causing this affliction whirling in my mind? Was I reassessing and drinking my life away because of a midlife crisis? I yearned for answers, guidance and support and this is when Let’s Pause was conceived.